This series has been a great opportunity for me to reflect on how I fared as a mom the first time around vs what I’d like to change/do better this time around. With this post I’m going to make a list of things I DIDN’T DO last time that I want to do this time.
Childbirth is possibly the ONLY experience where the person whose body has gone though tremendous hardship is immediately fully responsible for keeping another person alive, something that they have to do without an instruction manual, no less. I’ll speak of my C-Section experience.
This surgery is a major abdominal procedure. In the case of ANY OTHER abdominal surgery of similar magnitude the patient gets to sleep it off immediately after surgery and then rest and recover for a few days or weeks before they’re expected to get on with their life. But in the case of childbirth, not only do moms not get to sleep (at least not in long stretches) they are also caring for another human being, and somehow taking care of themselves and their own needs unconsciously takes a backseat.
Last time, I made it ALL about Laddoo and somewhere, in trying to do the best for my child, I forgot about myself completely. This resulted in a more tired and burnt out ‘me’ that ultimately wasn’t good for either of us. So this time, most items in this list are going to be different forms of self-care that I missed out on last time.
10 Things I DIDN’T do last time that I’m going to do now.
1. BUMP WRAPPING
I was pretty far along in my pregnancy with Laddoo by the time I found out about this, so I couldn’t actually practise it. As a result I continued to have pretty severe pelvic pain till the very end. But this time, I’m totally doing this. To know what Bump Wrapping is and its benefits, check out my Live session with Rashmee – the founder of Anmol Baby Carriers (See embedded video below). And stay tuned for my video on Bump Wrapping (coming in the next few days).
2. MASSAGE FOR MYSELF
I’ll massage the new baby just like I did with Laddoo, because it helped me bond with her. But this time I’ll make sure I get pampered too. I love massages! I have no idea why I didn’t do this for myself last time. 😬🤦🏻♀️
3. BELLY WRAPPING
This the post-partum version of Bump Wrapping. I missed doing this last time, but not again. According to Healthline.com, “When done properly, belly binding applied to the abdomen and around the hips can prove support to your pelvic floor. It also offers gentle compression that hold muscle ligaments safely in place as your body heals.”
4. TAKE CARE OF MY APPEARANCE
I totally DON’T regret not doing it last time, but this time I’d like to try it. Of course, looking prim and proper will not be my priority but given that the husband and Laddoo are going to be around (meaning I won’t be all alone with an infant) should give me a little time to take care of myself and how I look. After getting decked up every weekend for my bump photos and now even for the live sessions, it’s kind hard to go back to the ‘bland’ look. But of course, my made-up appearance shall not come at the cost of what my babies need, just that I’ll put in a little bit more effort into how I look and try to be #NotaBai.
5. MORE OUTDOOR TIME
For the baby and for me. And it should be easier this time because we live in a place surrounded by parks and greenery, which wasn’t the case last time. Back then, if I had to go out for a walk, it had to be on a proper road where even the pavements were cluttered with stalls and other stuff, whereas the nearest ‘park’ was a 10-minute-long auto ride away. But this time, I’m going to make time for a stroll outside, with Little Latte in the carrier, and Laddoo holding my (or her Papa’s) hand. It’ll mostly be him taking her out and me with Little Latte because she likes to run or cycle and I’m not sure I’m ready for that with a small baby. But you get the point. And these walks bring me to my next point…
After I had Laddoo my cravings for cakes began (I’d never been a sweet tooth before) and that’s where my unhealthy weight gain started. By the time I started exercise I had reached a point where my feet couldn’t bear the weight of my body any more. Not this time. Regular walks (indoors or outdoors) are going to be a thing. I’m going to start with 5,000 steps a day as soon as I am physically able to, and move on to 10,000. And as soon as my doctor gives me the go ahead, I am going to start exercising (at home if not at the gym.) Basically, I’m don’t want to let it get to the point where it’s no longer sustainable to go on that way. A large part of that is going to be sticking to my diet and nutrition plan (which I’ve already covered in things I’m going to do ‘differently’ this time around.)
7. CONTINUE SUPPLEMENTS
I took this very lightly last time and stopped iron and calcium supplements as soon as I was back home and the medicines I had got over. This led to quite a few issues, dental problems being one of them and I just want to avoid all that this time.
8. GET IN THE PICTURE
I have LOADS of pictures and videos with Laddoo. I was on point with the documenting! Weekly milestones, monthly milestones, half-birthday, every other important milestone, daily 1 second videos. But I was in very few pictures/videos with her. This time, I want to be in more pictures, and # 4 should help with that. I think a part of the reason why I stayed behind the camera was because I wasn’t keen on being photographed looking the way I did. But this time, I’m getting in the frame no matter what.
9. TAKE A BREAK
…from being a mom. It was a long time before I felt like a person when I had Laddoo. She was almost 11 months before I made any mom friends that I could hang out with. My own friends from before I had Laddoo were far away. There were very few opportunities for me to take a break. Well, this time it’s happening even if it means 15 minutes of a solo-walk in the garden, or a monthly non-negotiable spa visit, or just a cuppa in a coffee shop once in a while all by myself (corona-willing). 🙈🙈
10. TAKE A CHILL PILL
I don’t think this needs an explanation but it needs mention that I didn’t do this last time and I am the one who paid the price. This time’s preparation is a big attempt at being a more prepared, calm, relaxed, and reasonable ‘me’. Taking a chill pill becomes a HUGE part of that. ❤️
What do you think? What are some of the things you didn’t do the first time around and did/want to do the second/next time? Let me know in the comments ❤️❤️